The World Needs A Hero (And Anna Hazare Is Not One)

The world needs a hero, and he who claims to fight for what seems right or seems ready to martyr himself for what is taken as a moral cause is exalted and seated on the throne of heroism. In a country where people have done nothing to improve their quality of life, a nation built on greed and corruption, a land whose people think patriotism is standing up for the national anthem before movies are screened, an old, bald prick who claims he wants to end corruption and free India all over again is being hailed as some kind of a messiah.

You fucking poseurs, you don’t even know what all the fucking commotion is about, but you’re up in arms because you heard the word ‘corruption’.

It’s not the government officials who are corrupt – they can accept a bribe only when we offer it to them. And if they ask us for it, we can exercise the option of showing them a middle finger and walking away.

Now, me – I’ve been caught by cops at a nakabandi for riding a motorcycle after having two drinks. I spent a fair amount of time trying to bribe my way out of it, and then I spent the time on the way to the police station wondering why I, of all the people, had to be stopped by an honest police officer.

Your Anna Hazare is a toothless cocksucker. Anyone who fasts as a form of protest (even children don’t do that nowadays) and sulks and refuses to come out of jail (stop laughing, that’s what he’s doing) is setting a terrible example. Fasting and sulking are not the ways to get the government to bow to your demands, no matter how noble the cause you’re fighting for is.

Neither can you achieve anything by turning all the lights in your house off. Fuck, that’s called preserving electricity and saving money. Fuck, I can’t believe how dumb you people are.

Corruption may be is a terrible thing and we all know that, but the next time I’m caught on the wrong foot by cops; it could be for anything – rolling a joint for my brother, drinking beer on the road or fucking a chick in a movie hall – I will try to bribe my way out of it.

You bastards who have a problem with corruption… the next time you’re stopped by a traffic cop for breaking a signal, pay the full fine or part with your fucking license instead of slipping him a 100-buck note. Fucking poseurs.

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Gandhigiri Is A Failed Concept

BALD, OLD MOTHERFUCKER

What exactly the government’s problem with Anna Hazare wanting to fast is hard to understand, especially now that it is becoming clearer that he’s doing it all for publicity and doesn’t care all that much about eradicating corruption.

Gandhigiri is a concept that failed the moment it came into being. Keeping your head bowed before your oppressors, turning the other cheek – hey, if I slapped somebody and they showed me the other cheek, I would slap them again.

Gandhi himself was a dull guy who wrote the most boring book ever, so it would do people good to stop hailing him as some kind of a hero, because he wasn’t one. He was just a very nice guy, but we’ve all been nice guys at some point, and don’t we know what happens to nice guys? They get fucked over.

Here’s an example: When the Sri Ram Sene invaded a Mangalore pub and harassed the youngsters there, the dumbfucks of our country launched a ‘pink chaddi campaign’. The girls sent pink underwear to the Sene chief Pramod Mathalik, but apart from getting nationwide coverage, the campaign didn’t do anything. Oh yeah, it made the girls feel important.

FUCKING DICKHEAD

Now imagine the members of Sri Ram Sene surrounded by several pissed-off youngsters and getting the thrashing of a lifetime. Does that sound more effective?

Candlelight vigils, signing online petitions, protest marches, sending pink panties to extremists – none of these Gandhian tactics have ever worked… or to put it another way, they have never worked.

When a child is sulking because it wants to, you let it sit in the corner and sulk.

On this Independence Day, India should start freeing itself of empty vessels like Anna Hazare and Baba Ramdev. Let the motherfuckers fast for as long as they want can and get coverage till the media and the public are bored of them, because the moment they’re told they can go ahead and fast is when you’ll see them gulp.

READ: Adolf Hitler Was Cooler Than Mohandas Gandhi

READ: India’s Republic Day

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Behind The Mask

By Janak Samtani

Ladies & Gentlemen, please give way to the path-breaking & revolutionary organization – Wikileaks.

They are –

A very small group of extremely determined & innovative people from the Sunshine Press, who form this global whistle-blower organization.

Their Aim –

To bring to public the real agendas & actions carried out by their governments, corporates & institutions; which are kept secret for their own benefit.

Their homepage –

http://wikileaks.org/

How they achieve this –

Any person, insider to a government, corporate or any institution can leak information to them through a secured transmission.

What about your identity?

It is never disclosed and you remain anonymous. Wikileaks also shows you ways of replicating information internally to protect the suspicion of being caught. A particular person can come under suspicion of leaking insider information if that information is available solely to that person. So such tactics are demonstrated to protect your identity internally to your organization.

Are they connected with Wikipedia in anyway?

No. But like Wikipedia it works on donations sent in by public.

Leaks done so far –

Yes, three leaks of the many are:

1. Video of U.S. soldiers gunning down Iraqi civilians in Baghdad. This was leaked from the Pentagon. [http://wikileaks.org/]

2. Internal document containing claims close to 40 Billion Euros made to the failed Iceland’s Kaupthing Bank. This means money was taken out from the country and the bank allowed to fail, causing a financial crises in Iceland. This is a perfect case of a first-world country being robbed. [http://file.wikileaks.org/file/kaupthing-claims-update.pdf]

3. Leaked document which is a classified CIA document on possible PR-strategies on gaining support in Germany & France for the war in Afghanistan. [http://file.wikileaks.org/file/cia-afghanistan.pdf]

Their Public Presentation –

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zNFe1mQ6Tc&feature=related]

What I have to say –

If you feel this means nothing to people in India or any other country, then you could not be more wrong. Repercussions & the domino effect of fraudulent & destructive practices carried out by or in one country have impact directly or indirectly to most other countries & peoples. Wikileaks are leaking & have pledged to continue to leak such regular practices of institutions.

Without any army they have taken on & challenged several governments, including the one of United States. You’ve got to salute them & let others know about Wikileaks.

They could show a way to the Indian Government to set up such a safe & protective environment, so that more whistle-blowers do not meet the fate that of Satyendra Dubey [whistle-blower on the corruption in the Golden Quadrilateral Project].

I really hope Wikileaks stay true to their cause. Hail!

Can Alcohol Drinkers Be Controlled By Government Stupidity?

Boozards in Mumbai will not be able to buy more than two bottles of alcohol per week, if the State Excise Department has its way. In an attempt to curb the illegal sale of liquor which flourishes during dry days and at nights, 150 excise officers will try to prevent the entire drinking population of Mumbai from purchasing more than two bottles of liquor per person per week. First of all, no one really observes a dry day, not on Independence Day and certainly not on M.K. Gandhi’s birthday or death anniversary. Everybody who drinks craves the booze even more on dry days, so when wine shops and bars everywhere are shut, people buy alcohol illegally and don’t mind paying that extra bit of cash to defy rules and render them ineffective. Liquor stores are not going to welcome this move either, and will start selling a lot more than two measly bottles to anyone who wants to stock up, or more people will eventually become barflies and drink to their liver’s content. How is it possible to moderate an entire city’s alcohol intake? Even if the Government has woken up after all these beers years, how will it keep a tab on everyone who walks into a bar?