Movie Review: Race 2

The sequel to Race is all glamour and no excitement

Cast: Saif Ali Khan, John Abraham, Jacqueline Fernandez, Deepika Padukone, Anil Kapoor, Amisha Patel

“What’s going on out there?”, asks the puzzled voice from the cockpit, as the villain shoots bullets through most of the parachute bags and this luckless pilot’s head. The question arises in your mind as well, as the protagonist’s motives become clear after an hour of heavy gambles in casinos, a train robbery, a car chase, a bit of archery, some fencing and the glamorous cast demonstrating its shrewdness. The proving of everybody’s craftiness doesn’t stop here or at any point, of course, as devious minds outwit each other by way of changing sides and staying ahead of everyone else’s double-dealing.

Deception is expected – and it’s all too predictable, especially if you’ve seen Race (from 2008, with Akshaye Khanna superbly playing the scheming brother), and the humour quotient too remains at that unfunny level. Street fighters in a death match and women who all but display their snatch provide enough glamour but no excitement; fast and furious it may be, but there are no thrills in Race 2.

A rich man out for revenge wants to send another money-hungry man back to poverty uses many ploys to do so; a fruit-loving ex-cop who’ll do anything for cash mostly chiding his ultra dumb (and ultra sexy) secretary – her name is Cherry, and guess what he eventually must pop – Race 2 doesn’t have the seriousness of Abbas-Mustan’s 2008 superhit thriller even though it has the same ingredients, and some more: a pack of cards that can be manipulated by an electronic device and other equally weird gadgets. What “Race 2” doesn’t have is a story thick enough to drive the actors.

The midair climax has got to be the height of absurdity of this plot which was supposed to peak with the Shroud of Turin heist (from the Church of Turin, of course), with a car smashing through a side of the burning plane on its way to crashing into a mountain, and the four-wheeler sprouting parachutes to ensure the two people who must survive land safely and thus make possible the idea of Race 3. There is only one reason to watch Race 2.
RATING: 2/5

Coming soon… Django Unchained review.

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Music Review: Diskord – Dystopics (2012)

By DEVDUTT NAWALKAR

Diskord‘s Dystopics is a little known gem, revered in hushed tones in the underground. It also happens to be the single most relevant death metal album of the new millennium and is a touchstone for the entire style. It isn’t outrageously outre like Portal nor does it flagrantly bend and twist the principles of death metal the way Deathspell Omega, Mayhem or Blut Aus Nord distort black metal. Dystopics is unabashedly death metal, its inspiration can be traced back to the most primitive of forebears in Autopsy and Incantation. What it excels at is infusing a frankly stagnant form of music – and let’s face it, death metal has been dying for want of true innovation for some time now – with new ideas and textures. There are plenty of technically proficient bands around but few can match Diskord‘s quirkiness and songcraft.

How does one begin to describe the sound here? The references in Autopsy and Incantation are accurate enough; any seasoned death metal listener can instantly visualize the sonic palettes those two provide for. But there are bands tuppence ha’penny doing that these days. It’s how Diskord fill in the gaps that truly sets them apart from the crowd. Gorguts is a big influence obviously, Obscura, pre and post too. Diskord adopt several of the songwriting nuances that Luc Lemay perfected with his legendary band; the tremolo on the first two executed at moderate speed with perfectly placed squeals and harmonics that gives off a very busy vibe. There are nods to Obscura also in the clanging, dissonant chords used here, along with bands like the already-mentioned DsO and latter day Mayhem. Demilich‘s penchant for other-dimensional strangeness is updated for the 21st century. The measured, supremely self-assured pacing and unparalleled composition of Atrocity, especially on Todessehnsucht, finds its rightful heir here too.

Take all that and throw in a lot of funky bass and a guitar tone and soloing style that I can only liken to Allan Holdsworth’s alien sonicscapes. Just what in hell is this beast, you ask?!

It is elite death metal, a term I generally reserve for those bands that strike a chord on a thinking level and an intangible emotional plateau. Diskord do both by the bountiful and come away with hands down the best album of 2012 and the most rounded death metal in a very, very long time. Accomplishing it all while showing incredible maturity, poise and utmost respect for the fundamental tenets of death metal.There are no gimmicks, there are no compromises to modern trends. The production is death metal, the vocals are death metal. Diskord have arrived, thirty years after the genre first sunk its claws into the mangled underbelly of thrash. This circus isn’t leaving the Milky Way anytime soon.

MORE ALBUM REVIEWS BY DEVDUTT NAWALKAR: Expurgo – Burial Ground | Amon – Liar In Wait | The Chasm – Farseeing The Paranormal Abysm | Claws – Absorbed In The Nethervoid | Krisiun – Southern Storm | Katharsis – Fourth Reich | Immolation – Majesty And Decay

Music Review: Newsted – Metal

Jason Newsted’s new band has released what sounds like Metallica’s Load without the masterly songwriting. The bassist even sings like James Hetfield.

To the brainless boobs who have been going around saying Jason Newsted’s new band’s debut EP is better than anything Metallica has released in the last 20 years, answer ask yourselves this question: How is Newsted‘s Metal different from Metallica‘s Load? Yeah, stop looking at each other – I’ll tell you: Newsted doesn’t have Metallica‘s songwriting skills. Quit gawking, motherfuckers, because Jason Newsted’s new band hasn’t done anything worth even a second listen. It’s limp-wristed, watered down metal, unfit to be labelled as thrash metal – four songs that even Lou Reed might find weak. It’s not as bad as fucking Lulu, but that doesn’t mean anything. Fucking idiots who got swayed by public opinion so much that they didn’t give Load a good listen – it’s brilliant songwriting, even if it’s nothing like the ‘Tallica‘s early attacks, and it has some great songs – so I’m asking you again: How is the heaviest thing you can find on Newsted‘s Metal better than the worst feature you’ve been trashing Load for? But it could be that Jason only wants to jam with two other guys and have fun and isn’t out to cock a snook at Metallica, so if you want to hate on the ‘Tallica, wait till Newsted at least attempts to reach that level.

RATING: 2/5

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Exhumation Lyrics: Blood-Drenched Flags

[From Exhumation’s 2011 album Consider This]

Surrounded by unknown armies
Ready for battle, growling for our blood

Driven by thirst for warfare
Marching towards us, straight to their end

Leaders, soldiers – now you choose your weapons
For this folly they will face punishment

Shoot them, chop them
Blast through their belief systems
Maim them, mock them
And then leave them for dead

Fire canons straight into their leaders
Fight them, break them
There are no restrictions

Behead the horsemen, and then bring me their heads
Leave them to die, the ones who are not dead

Let there be the sound of the battle-horn
To let them know the games have just begun
Awaken our sleeping armies and bring them on
The show of power must be won by dawn

Taste the blood of victory

Pounded, they run back dumbfounded
Chased by battle-tanks which we have mounted

Limbless, some are on one leg, others are handless
And have forgotten their names, forgotten to scream

But no, no way
We will not let them go
Slash them, smash them
Let the blood spray like never before

Bring out the axes
Hack the remaining to pieces
Burn them, the maimed
Teach them the meaning of pain

Drag the living,
Back to the torture camps,
The torment for them,
Has only just begun

Send back the news
Of their loss and suffering
So the children and widows
Beat their chests and wail

And now, it’s time to rest
And regain our strength
For greater challenges

Brothers, we’ve marched to victory
And the celebration of our glory
Begins with a feast tonight

Tonight

EXHUMATION LYRICS: Hell Forbid | Tandoori Chick | Absolute Power Now

Restaurant Review: Amigos (Andheri West, Mumbai)

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On the tomb of Mia Cucina, right next to WTF!, sits the newest Mexican food restaurant in Mumbai. Amigos, I was told, is a pub. It’s a bar scene alright, but pubs should have more than one decent beer and at the very least something on tap. No pitchers here, no draught beer and maybe one brew that I’d place in the ‘decent’ category. But how many people in Mumbai really care about beer anyway? Even I’m neglecting the decent beer because I want to try Budweiser Magnum. So what we have here is this Tex-Mex setting, with the waiters dressed as Mexicans and struggling to arrange for a bottle of Tabasco sauce to go with my teetotal band members’ cranberry juice. Our vegetarian teetotaler’s paneer nachos have gooey cheese and us meat eaters sticking fingers in it, while our tacos are a disappointment. Like the nachos, the tacos come with a kachumber-imli dip, sour cream, refried beans and rice (you can opt for French fries if that’s your thing), but unlike the nachos, the tacos aren’t very filling. Being used to crisp tortillas, the flatbread doesn’t excite us, so we eat it as a chapati. The steaks aren’t all that great either; my teetotaler omnivorous friend’s rare steak turning out to a lot more enjoyable than my well-done, but perhaps I’m just happier with the world around when there’s enough alcohol in my system, but there’s no way I’ll ever ask for another pint of an unworthy beer. You might want to drink at Amigos if you’re loaded and in Versova, but if you’re off the booze I’d ask you to walk another three minutes and eat at Pizza Casa.

Amigos is at Jewel Mahal Shopping Centre, Near Nana-Nani Park, JP Road, 7 Bungalows, Andheri West

Phone: 022-42669249/022-40222140/022-40222141/022-40222142

ALSO TRY: Malwani Kkalwan (Versova)

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Exhumation Lyrics: Hell Forbid

[From Exhumation’s 2011 album Consider This]

Never ever

Why are you still inside
Possessing my soul
Tormenting my mind

Spun is the web of lies
From the poverty of my feeble mind

Waiting impatiently for your return
If not, then I’ll
Wait for your end
Fighting bitterly for my redemption
I am a victim of my own convictions

And I’ll return to life
When you close those eyes
For the last time
Close those eyes

Waiting impatiently for your return
If not, then I’ll
Wait for your end
Fighting bitterly for my redemption
I am a victim of my own convictions

Never ever

On my knees
As I pray
Take me away

SOLAR DEITY LYRICS: The Darkness Of Being | Snowless | In The Name Of Satan

Farewell, Sophiya

The sexiest VJ of my generation, Sophiya Haque had animalistic sex appeal. She was raw, sexy as hell and a bloody good VJ. The only gym she ever probably heard of was Morrison, and that makes her sexier than any chick who has to try to look hot. This world and my life have lost a lot of hotness today.

Exhumation Lyrics: Absolute Power Now

[From Exhumation’s 2011 album Consider This, “Absolute Power Now” is about violent sex, forced blowjobs and brutal ass-rape. Total fucking domination!]

Run anywhere you want, you can’t hide
Feel your pain
For my pleasure you were born
I will love watching you cry
See my dick
I will chase you down and fuck your holes

Prepare for rape
Violated, violated
I am naked
Wheee!

Violated, violated
I am naked

Without protection you’re butt-fucked
When my cock properly you’ve sucked
Your anus is my aim

See my dick
I will chase you down and fuck your holes

Violated, violated
I am naked
Wheee!

Violated, violated
I am naked

Be my wife and be my slave
And be my wife and be my slave
Yeah

FREE DOWNLOAD: Exhumation’s Consider This  | “Tandoori Chick” Lyrics

LYRICS: Solar Deity’s The Darkness Of Being | Solar Deity’s Snowless | Solar Deity’s In The Name Of Satan

Beer Review: Indus Pride

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As if I needed to be reminded of the atrocities that were the four flavours of Little Devils, the quartet from Indus Pride – Citrusy Cardamom, Citrusy Coriander, Fiery Cinnamon and Spicy Fennel – tried to punch 2012 and all of them missed. Noticing the lack of head and unmoved by the unexciting taste (these beers from Indus Pride come across as thicker iced teas), I wonder why these beer companies are hellbent on getting youngsters to like beer with such attempts instead of focusing on making one decent lager to start off with. I don’t have one good thing say about any of these flavours and “Indus Pride” will soon die a natural death.

RATING: 2/5

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Aakash Dwivedi takes over music label Nephalist Recordings

Solar Deity’s logo and artwork designer Aakash Dwivedi has taken over Nephalist Recordings, which was earlier only a moniker to release the black metal band’s music under. Nephalist Recordings is now a legit music label which will produce physical copies of Solar Deity releases. Aakash Dwivedi has plans of turning Nephalist Recordings into a full-fledged underground extreme metal label and distro.

For more details, visit the site: Nephalist Recordings

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