The Making Of Blue 2

It’s Saurin Parikh’s birthday and today you can annoy him as much as you want and get away with it. On getting news about the makers of the 100 crore oceanic debacle Blue looking for a writer for the 200 crore sequel, we asked him to go for it. Instead of jumping at the offer, Saurin fled from the scene and we later caught him trying to hide behind his wife. Here’s what happened when he met the actors of Blue 2, who were curious to know how their roles were shaping up. Erm…Happy Birthday, Saurin!

Illustrations by Ashwin Dutt <> Text & Concept by Aditya Mehta

Movie Review: Blue

L-R: Blue Frog, Poison Arrow Toad, Shellfish And Mermaid

What do you do when someone gives you Rs 100 crore to make a movie? You make an action-thriller set in the Bahamas. At least, that’s what director Anthony D’Souza did.

I almost feel sorry for Sanjay Dutt because of the kind of roles he has to do to stay afloat. As Sagar in Blue, he’s an honest, hardworking, sincere dude content with what he has, making enough money to sustain his simple life and undemanding life. Yawn.

Of course, he also has the hot and sexy Lara Dutta as his girlfriend. Now, Lara Dutta wants to save marine life and needs a good bit of money for that, but Sanjay Dutt won’t borrow a buck from his extremely wealthy employer Aarav (Akshay Kumar).

Akshay Kumar is drinking for a change, and as usual he’s boning random women and cracking lame jokes along the way (ebony/ivory, two of everything). From what someone whose opinion I value tremendously says, Akshay Kumar is the same as ever – now that he’s already done his thing in the air and on land, he’s doing it in the sea and underwater. By ‘his thing’ I mean the usual fighting, boning, droning, mumbling oversmart lines and having everything and getting even more. Sigh.

What about the movie? Oh yeah, Blue is a stylishly shot flick without a cool story. Maybe the script fell out of the director’s hands and into the deep blue sea during the filming and sank without a trace.

Akshay Kumar has a fishing business and more than enough money, tons of chicks, a sports bike and a jacuzzi on his fancy boat and pick-up lines to use on Kylie Minogue. Sanjay Dutt is his employee with whom he hangs out and has boxing matches. Zayed Khan is Sanjay Dutt’s prodigal brother who likes bikes and Katrina Kaif. Akshay Kumar and Zayed Khan want Sanjay Dutt to go treasure-hunting with them, because Sanjay Dutt knows the ocean “like the back of his hand”. But Sanjay Dutt is in his Munnabhai mood and wants to do no such thing (despite knowing exactly where the treasure is) and is happy being a plain bore. Except in the scene in which a group of baddies barge into his house and his immediate reaction is to put his shades on. Now there’s a movie star.

The Real Lady In Blue

With dull dialogues that evoked many a giggle during a screening, all Blue can boast of is technical brilliance and Lara Dutta providing the kind of skinshow that would make a cripple get up and dance.

The lines are outright laughable – “let’s go on a treasure hunt”, “lady in blue”, and here’s what’s ridiculous – a lot of what Akshay Kumar, Sanjay Dutt and Zayed Khan say, most of what Rahul Dev and Lara Dutta say and everything that comes out of Katrina Kaif’s pretty mouth.

The Shark That Ate The Script

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Won’t tell you the ‘twist’ or give the climax away, but there’s a hilarious scene of Akshay Kumar keeping himself alive underwater in the end… just see how overjoyed with himself he looks as he sucks the oxygen from the tire of his bike like a sneaky little fucker.

VERDICT

Come on, you can watch stunning underwater sequences on National Geographic, only it won’t have a bikini-clad Lara Dutta. They spent 100 crore on this?

RATING: 2/5

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