Beer Snobbery 4

Getting drunk all by yourself in bars will at some point lead to a stranger telling you that duplicate beer is sold all the time in this country. The much cheaper maal comes from other territories and is stocked by bars, pubs and restaurants because it means a bigger profit margin to them. Most of us may not realize it, but if your third or fourth bottle of lager tastes a bit different, chances are it’s the fake stuff. The ones who can understand this taste difference will have their query laughed off because they’ve had a few, and this is what happens all over India. I’ve had Kingfisher that tasted weird in a hotel in Jaipur, Rajasthan three years ago – I mean, it tasted weirder than Kingfisher does. This has been happening with ‘imported liquor’ for years; the branded scotch you pay big bucks for isn’t the real thing, and even the guy who owns or runs the liquor store may be unaware of it. To be on the safe side, what you can do is drink beer than cannot be duplicated. Just a few sips of Fuller’s London Pride Ale and Brooklyn Lager will tell you that some things cannot be duplicated. Cloned, yes… duplicated, no. Because if someone who wants to get rich quick could brew something of quality that high, they’d have their own brand out there. Even that fat booze baron Vijay Mallya can’t do it, and is taking over Heineken (the Kingfisher of its nation) because he is a boob.

Here’s how to not be a boob: Don’t go to the ‘official’ Mumbai Oktoberfest organized by the Indo-German Chamber of Whatever. I was there last year and it was an overblown event held to squeeze money out of people who thought they were being a part of something great by being there. On the last day of the event, people had to drink Kingfisher with the money they’d spent and learned nothing about German culture.

The Indo-German Chamber of Shit has started sending out emails to get people to make reservations for Oktoberfest 2011. They’ve stated in the email that it’s going to be 30,000 rupees (+ service tax) for a table of ten, but haven’t mentioned which German beers they’ll be pilaoing people this year. My guess is it’ll be the same beers they were trying to promote last year in the name of German culture. So, don’t be a trendy kid and fall victim to the hype, and don’t forget the official Oktoberfest is organized by the Indo-German Chamber of Commerce, which means they care about money more than anything else, and that they don’t really give a shit about beer or culture or you.

Oktoberfest 2011 you can celebrate by drinking the German Wheat Beer from Doolally – you can do this by going to the microbrewery in Pune or by visiting a pub that stocks their beers. Or you can go to Gurgaon because it has six microbreweries. Or you can buy beers of your choice from any Living Liquidz outlet in Mumbai and stay home. Just don’t settle for Kingfisher this year. Prost, ladies and gentlemen!

MORE LINKS:
The Best Beers In India
Beer Snobbery 1
Beer Snobbery 2
Beer Snobbery 3

Beer Snobbery 3

Every few years, there is a disturbing change of beer trends in magical Goa. There was the local pilsner King’s, which ruled the scene. Then, Kingfisher took over and reigned until recently and now Tuborg has dethroned India’s most popular beer. They’re a lot cheaper at the beach shacks than they are at the liquor stores (“wine shops”) in Mumbai, but the next time we’re in Goa… I’ll be sippin’ water, thank you.

Speaking of ‘popular’, I think there’s a connection between Kingfisher and other popular stuff. Like god, for example. Or take any popular notion that doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. While it’s totally understandable that not everyone can admit they were wrong or fooled after a lifetime of believing in something, it’s baffling how people will belligerently continue to thrust forth their contrasting opinion in a show of loyalty to that which is obviously false.

It’s like trying to start a conversation with me by stating that a certain band whose only claim to fame is playing covers of Metallica/Megadeth/Slayer is the best thing to happen to metal. It never works.

Fuck all that – I laughed my head off talking to this delivery man who happens to be a London Pilsner loyalist. He told me how he’d bought the costlier Kingfisher thinking it’d be his birthday treat and that it ruined his celebration because, as he told me in Hindi, that beer fucking stinks.

It feels so good to be on a break from alcohol, especially after a visit to a microbrewery which poured into my life a truly great beer that… yeah, that’s right – no more shitty beer posts from me for a very long time. So if you’re too lazy to visit a microbrewery or too cheap to buy quality brew, the least you can do as someone who cares about what they put in their body is drink the only good Indian macrobrew around. And be sure to pester the wine shop owner for the the classic green bottle.

I wonder if anyone has broken it to Vijay Mallya yet…

 

Doolally’s German Wheat Beer Review

BREW-TALITY IS LAW: Looks like Aneesh Nadkarni and Nikhil Warekar like Doolally’s Witbier!

Nikhil Warekar: The German Wheat Beer/Witbier was an absolute delight. Taking inspiration from Kölsch – the German beer locally brewed in Cologne, the guys at Doolally added in their own twist by serving it unfiltered.

Appearance – Murky, hazy yellow-orange color. Light-bodied.

Aroma – Primarily malty. Sweet, fruity aroma with a strong hint of bananas. Slightly hoppy.

Mouthfeel – Dry, thin, smooth and fizzy. I could taste the bananas, a little bit of peppermint and citrus flavors which could be lemon or orange.

All in all a fine brew. Very impressed.

Warekar’s rating – 4.5/5

Aneesh Nadkarni: This beer could rightfully be called Weissbier because it passes the litmus test with flying colours. The German Wheat Beer served at Doolally is a real treat – has a richer, emulsifying taste and forms a real good head. A must for all beer aficionados as well as for the wayward sons who consider Kingfisher and Foster’s to be beer.

O Zapft ‘is

Nadkarni’s rating: 4/5

Aditya Mehta: Hazy orangish-yellow lightbodied divinity. Smells like the best bananas in the world. Tastes even better. The wheat malts and bananas are upfront, of course. A hint of citrus, maybe lemon or oranges or sweet lime. Can’t taste hops, if there are any. German wheat beer isn’t my favourite beer style, but I could drink Doolally’s German Wheat Beer for the rest of my life. Flawless.

Mehta’s rating: 5/5

Beer Review: Doolally’s Premium 36

The second of the three brews that were available during Beer Olympics 2011, Doolally’s Premium 36 is a typical American adjunct lager. Dull taste, stale aftertaste, sits like a thick coat on the tongue. Avoid.

RATING: 2/5

Review: Doolally’s German Wheat Beer

Revew: Doolally’s Apple Cider

Doolally’s Apple Cider Review

So this is the first drink we had at Doolally, Pune’s first microbrewery. Their cider was one of the three drinks available on tap, and it’s a pretty interesting beverage. It’s a bland apple drink that lies flat on your tongue like a dog expecting to be touched. The good part is you can’t tell there’s alcohol in it, but I’d have liked this to pack a punch.

RATING: 3.5/5

Beer Review: Doolally’s Witbier

Beer Review: Doolally’s Premium 36

I Am Anna Hazare

By Janak Samtani

Pictures from the candlelight march held on 8th April in Pune, from Bal Gangadhar Chowk to Shaniwarwada. The march was in support to the new Jan Lokpal Bill and Anna Hazare.

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Eat & Drink All Night In Pune

So, Pune has a hookah joint – one at which you can eat and drink the night away. On Baner Road, Aundh, is a restaurant called SICE (Something I Can Eat) where you can eat at till about 1:30 am (that’s pretty late for Pune). But what you’ve got to do is ask the waiters of SICE for CO2, so they can guide you to a smoky underground place where you can smoke and drink till your lungs and liver beg for mercy above the blaring music. CO2 – Live The Smoke is where it’s at if you want to eat, drink, smoke or play pool or snooker all night long in Pune.

Non-Alcoholic Beer Review: Null Komma Josef

Grabbed a can of Null Komma Josef on the way to Pune; non-alcoholic beer needs to be cheaper, considering it doesn’t have the main ingredient. Wish I had a glass to pour it into and check out the colour. The can says ‘Classic’, and it is a fine, strong drink. A strong non-alcoholic lager is what Null Komma Josef is, and as the brew gets warmer, it reveals a clean taste. Of course, it lacks the alcohol bite, but this is the best non-alcoholic beer I’ve had yet. If it tasted like a mild lager, I’d be drinking it very often. Full marks to Austria for Null Komma Josef!

Farmicide

Maharashtra is the richest and most prosperous state in India. At the same time, it is also plagued by farmer suicides. Although farmer suicides have been taking place all over India, Maharashtra has noted the largest number of suicides since the 1990s. For 9 years from 1997 to 2006, 4,453 farmers committed suicide due to crop failures and heavy debts. In the next 4 years, this number increased by 547, bringing the total number of farmers who committed suicide to 5000 only from 2005-2009. Which means that the same number of farmers committed suicide in half the time span. This is government data. What about the statistics which go unreported and uninvestigated?

P. Sainath, a rural development journalist first began investigating the farmer suicide cases and his findings were not only stunning but also scary. He wrote a book: Everybody loves a good drought – highlighting the state of affairs of agriculture and farmers in India. He also explains the impact of a global phenomenon on rural India.

I took this picture when I saw a bottle of chemical pesticide lying empty in a field full of greens in Bhor village, a little ahead of Narayangaon, some 80 kms from Pune. It is a tribute to the sons of the soil (the real ones), P. Sainath and my own desire to report on issues like these.

One of the reasons fuelling farmer deaths was not suicide but indirect suicide. By definition, suicide is an attempt to kill yourself and the ones reported so far were direct suicides. But when P. Sainath dug about a bit, he saw that many farmers would complain of unbearable stomach ache during spraying season. When he checked their records, he’d see them admitted into a hospital with stomach ache. A post mortem would reveal that they had been consuming bottles of spray pesticide while tending to their fields thus resulting in an “indirect” suicide.

If the farmers stop cultivating grains and vegetables, where are the people of India going to eat from? Will money buy them food to last the rest of their lives? I think its time we stopped believing the idiot box and woke up from a deep slumber.

(Bio: June Bug is a journalist and a photographer.)