With that name and a taste that could make a guy give up drinking, Stud Premium Lager is a brew entitled more than any other beer to be called ‘horse piss.’ Available only in certain regions of Maharashtra, and this stuff actually sells quite a bit out there.
Those sick of Triple Schezwan Rice and dry noodles can ask their Indo-Chinese rekdiwala for Chopper rice/noodles. Chopper is a filling dish of leftover Manchurian gravy mixed with rice or noodles, but it makes sense to go with noodles because noodles in Manchurian gravy sounds good, and Chopper Rice is just rice in Manchurian gravy without Manchurian balls. Right, dummies? Don’t forget to tell me later how your system liked the MSG attack.
Grabbed a can of Null Komma Josef on the way to Pune; non-alcoholic beer needs to be cheaper, considering it doesn’t have the main ingredient. Wish I had a glass to pour it into and check out the colour. The can says ‘Classic’, and it is a fine, strong drink. A strong non-alcoholic lager is what Null Komma Josef is, and as the brew gets warmer, it reveals a clean taste. Of course, it lacks the alcohol bite, but this is the best non-alcoholic beer I’ve had yet. If it tasted like a mild lager, I’d be drinking it very often. Full marks to Austria for Null Komma Josef!
Check out this set of glasses the Buzz18 team gifted me on my 27th birthday.
“What?! Have you been drinking alcohol again?!”
“Don’t stop me today! Let me drink!”
Announcing the 4th MKK? contest: go to a fancy seafood restaurant, eat a sideways-walking crustacean in garlic butter sauce and bill it to us. What you have to do is answer this simple question: What did the corpse exclaim upon being exhumed?
Last date for comments is 6th June. Losers will be announced on Tuesday, 8th June.
Jaipur, Rajasthan 2008
Not sure if it was 2008 or 2009 when I saw an ad outside a liquor store saying Carlsberg beer had arrived in India, but that was when I immediately agreed with my then girlfriend’s idea of her catching up on a girlie movie because she was sick of me being horny all the time. That left me free to do something else (other manly stuff, of course). I dropped her home and on my way to wherever, picked up two 650 ml bottles of Carlsberg, in the hope of finding a brew extraordinaire. How predictable.
There is much to be said about guzzling beer hurriedly in an autorickshaw. It needs to be kept out of sight of policemen, and a pint of Carlsberg looks like a bottle of Sprite, but I have two big bottles of this import from Denmark. The beer also must be kept chilled; Carlsberg is an ordinary lager, okay to drink when chilled, with a faint rose-like flavour showing up as it gets warmer.
Carlsberg’s promotional slogan says it is “probably the best lager in the world”, a claim which I rubbish as I point you to Tuborg Green – another Danish brew, and one you’ll enjoy drinking.
Everything seems to have gone dry since I stopped drinking over a month ago. Even three litres of water a day seem inadequate this summer and it’s so bloody hot even at night. Fuck the sun. And the moon. I should churn out another dozen beer reviews and then start writing about whiskies. No, that’s a joke. Like Sanchal Malhar, who would’ve won a bottle of scotch if his estrogen levels hadn’t been overflowing. Hemant ‘T2’ Rao won the 3rd contest by directly asking for it. Here’s T2 giving a lesson in manliness (with the unopened bottle).
By far the worst of all the beers popular in India, Foster’s has been around for a long time now, since before alcohol advertising was banned. The cool commercials with the ‘Australian for beer’ slogan stuck, and the unknowing Indian was fooled into thinking he was opting for a quality brew everytime he asked the wine shop owner for a Foster’s. I’m not sure if a beer can be called ‘bland’, but this watery excuse for beer lacks the bite I expect from a lager that has nothing else going for it. Neither the bottled stuff nor the draught are worth drinking, and when I attend parties which has Foster’s as one of the sponsors (making Foster’s the only beer available), I either drink whisky or stick to water. Here’s raising an empty mug to people who drink Foster’s and praise its ‘drinkability’. I doubt anyone in Australia drinks this weak, poor lager they export to us. And Foster’s is drinkable, but so is piss.
Getting it right in Jaipur.
A little over three weeks after going sober is the best time to impart hidden knowledge to all.
Mehta Kya Kehta? 