Beer Review: Chimay Tripel (White)

The tripel from the famous trappist monks is as good as the dubbel. Chimay White pours orangish, with a fluffy head and a lacing that just won’t go away. Silky in texture, Chimay Tripel tastes of bananas and honey and is yeasty and hoppy with some malt flavour and a hint of other fruits. This is fucking strong and you can taste the bitterness – 8% alcohol strength. Chimay White would’ve been a lot more enjoyable if it weren’t this dry; I’d have liked the taste to linger around for a bit more. Not as complex as Chimay Red (7% alcohol strength), but great stuff anyway.

RATING: 4/5  

        

Beer Review: Saison Dupont

This gorgeous drink pours a beautiful golden yellow and smells of grassy hops. Saison Dupont is a summer beer and there ain’t no place better to have it than Bombay, baby. The taste starts off spicy and turns to some citrus flavour (it’s not lemony) and has a fruity hoppiness to it. This is so fresh that I cannot stop smelling it. The creamy head refuses to disappear and leaves an amazing lacing. I’m not sure whether to keep looking at it or continue smelling it for the next one hour but I’m taking reasonably large sips of it because that’s one thing I have no control over. Saison Dupont is a farmhouse ale and another great beer from Belgium. This is the best alcoholic beverage I’ve had this summer!

RATING: 4/5

Beer Review: Chimay Première (Red)

I got my hands on this famous trappist ale last year and have been drinking it regularly since. These are the costliest beers available and they’re amazing to smell and taste. Chimay Red pours a reddish brown, and the head is thick and creamy white and leaves a rich lacing. You can smell and taste the caramel malts immediately, and other smells and flavours reveal themselves as you get to know the drink better. It’s dangerous how a brew this strong can be so deceptively sweet – Chimay Red is high in alcohol strength (7% or 8%, I don’t remember), I suggest you don’t have these on an empty stomach because I was writhing on the floor after two pints. This is a very complex beer that cannot be understood in one or two tries, but don’t even expect to be overwhelmed by it. Is this the best trappist beer India will get to taste? I hope not!

RATING: 4/5

ALSO CHECK OUT:

Tooheys Old Black Ale Review

Fuller’s London Pride Review

Murphy’s Irish Stout Review

Bloggy Style ’10

The blog’s been spewing venom all of 2010 and it needs to be sent on a vacation. A whole year of straightening sluts, quitting whisky, unfriending wussies, sodomizing women, writing badass lyrics and blasting out over 300 high-quality posts that caused tremors from Powai to Hawaii – yeah, it needs to go somewhere.

For those unhappy about why their music/book/restaurant has not been written about here… well, considering you people don’t react to even the stronger (more extreme) posts here, and are too kanjoos to leave a comment and out yourself as one of the many people who read this blog irreligiously – there really is no obligation on this blog to acknowledge your excretions, is there?

As 2011 spreads its legs wide open for me, here’s a preview of next year’s highlights: the release of my band’s 3^rd album, the publishing of my collection of short stories, the reviewing of every beer from Belgaum to Belgium, and… why kill the suspense and spoil your fun? All you need to dread is what all of the above will do to the blog’s ego and how up the level of arrogance will go.

Here’s leaving you with a line from Ab Tak Chhappan, tweaked slightly to make it applicable to every single last one of you: Khuda tum sab ko mehfooz rakhe… mujhse.

See you sometime in 2011.

Beer Review: Hoegaarden Original White Ale

Finally, the Belgian white ale that is making its presence felt in out country, albeit slowly. Looks like mosambi juice, smells of wheat, tastes lemony, and finishes slightly dry. Go slow, though… a few pints of Hoegaarden may make you queasy in the stomach. Avoid drinking with or after spicy food, and forget about having this with anything pungent because you just won’t be able to taste the subtle flavours. Very good beer with a unique taste.

RATING: 4/5

Beer Review: Stella Artois

By now, we should all know what popular lagers are like. Surprisingly, Stella Artois isn’t bad at all. Uninspiring but very clean-tasting unlike most other famous lagers we torture ourselves with in the name of beer. In fact, with that buttery mouth-feel and nice aftertaste, Stella Artois is a highly drinkable beer. I wouldn’t mind having this once in a while if it were cheaper.

RATING: 3.5/5

Breaking Mallya’s Monopoly

Beer finally gets the respect due, thanks to Sammy Sosa at Oshiwara, Mumbai. What I’ve learned is not to call for unusual sounding stuff like Mexican Pizza, even if it has lamb toppings (fillings here). Sammy Sosa has separate menus for food, beer and alcohol in other forms, bless them, and they stock imported beer like Carlsberg, Tuborg, Asahi, Foster’s, Peroni Nastro Azzurro and Hoegaarden. What I like best about Sammy Sosa is they don’t serve Kingfisher beer or anything else that comes from Vijay Mallya. How’s that for a change? In case you’re confused as to how Hoegaarden is pronounced, just say ‘Ho Garden’ like everyone else does and make sure a group of women hears you say that aloud.