Reading about Ajmal Amir Qasab begging to be allowed to write to his family cracked me up. That he feels like eating meat makes me laugh even harder. And just when you think it cannot get funnier, along comes a bunch of saffron-clad illiterates to threaten defense lawyers against fighting the fellow’s case.
It’s no secret that besides trying to frighten citizens and making a whole lot of noise in their mother tongue, these guys do little else. As has always been their way of going about things.
Which makes me come up with two fun ideas.
Footage of the torture Qasab undergoes should be aired on telecast internationally. Watching him cry and feel like shit would make people feel real good, I think. To see him executed in public would’ve been entertaining, but unfortunately, we are gluttons for punishment. If we stand for bullshit like turning the other cheek, we deserve every slap we get. But we won’t be angry enough till a burkha-clad suicide bomber comes this way and blows some of us up, yeah?
Another awesome thing to do would be to laugh at all these hooligan politicians every time they start to open their mouth. Getting provoked is pointless if there isn’t going to be a retaliation. That our race thrives on stupidity is something I will enlighten you about in another post, maybe next year. So instead of gathering at The Gateway Of India to check out chicks, we should join a billion hands (and other body parts if required) and let these political leaders know they will not be voted into power. We can tell them that even if we don’t mean it, just to see the fun.
Pakistan is making an ass of itself, and that’s a real shame because they’ve always had an strong, aggressive cricket team. Whatever, cricket sucks and more on that later.
We don’t have whatever it takes to laugh in the face of our political cartoons and let them know they’re incredibly stupid, so we end up looking like a bunch of jokers when we criticise another country, no matter what it has done.
Maybe someone should let the Shiv Sena know Ajmal Amir Qasab will not be hanged unless he is tried first. I’d give in writing but unfortunately for them, I don’t know Marathi and they don’t know any better. Buzz off!
Coming soon…Illustrated Weakly
Mehta Kya Kehta? 