Meow Meow, sold as crystal meth, fast rising as top drug in India

“It makes me feel perfect,” says a friend who is always ready to experience new drugs. “It makes everything in my life and the world seem alright.” But my friend was unperturbed when I told him the drug he’d described to me was meow meow, not “crystal meth” and gave me more details. Apparently, Meow Meow is fast rising as the top drug in India, sold by dealers in Goa and Mumbai to youngsters. Meow Meow is the new speed, for the use of (a prototype of) speed was widely abused by youngsters of the previous generation. But unlike speed, Meow Meow (also known as Chow) can’t be purchased from a chemist shop. Most dealers who sell you cocaine and other expensive drugs will surely have “meow meow” to offer you, as it is a highly addictive drug which will bring the seller great profits. Just one use of meow (mephedrone) is enough to convince the user that it is one of the best experiences of their life, and one gram of the powder provides enough doses to make sure you will seek the drug out again very soon.

WARNING: The whisky you’re drinking at Kabeela Bar & Kitchen may not be the one you ordered!

Erowid page for Methamphetamine | Faces of Meth

Mumbai will be unaffected by the gutkha ban

Raving & Ranting About Drug Users

Beer Review: Chimay Blue

Reviewed at the 1^st Mumbai International Beer Festival.

After a year of eluding me, this stubby was caught sitting smug at D’Monte Park, Bandra. Dark reddish brown, this highly rated Belgian ale is way too sweet. To hide the 9% alcohol volume, I guess. Malt, spices – and a bit of a medicinal taste, and this beer is syrupy. If this is as complex as Chimay Red and Chimay White, I can’t tell. Chimay Blue can get you drunk but isn’t fun to drink. The trilogy is complete.

RATING: 3.5/5

10 Beers India Should Be Guzzling In 2011 

A detailed review of Shah Rukh Khan’s Ra.One

Beer Review: Sagres Cerveja

Reviewed at the 1st Mumbai International Beer Festival

 

A typical lager, Sagres Cerveja has a golden body and adjunct properties. Smooth it is, but not very crisp. Nothing to get excited about or go out of your way for.

RATING: 2.5/5 

Beermageddon 7

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ALSO SEE: BEERMAGEDDON 6 (WITH TANYA)

Music Review: Putrefactive Endometriosis – Urophilic Orgasmination

Country: Russia
Genre: Pornogrind / Goregrind
Quality: mp3 / CBR 320 kbps
Tracklist
01. Sucking Beast! (01:14)
02. Urine Bukkake (00:12)
03. Chewed Phallus (00:37)
04. Lesbian Sodomy (00:23)
05. Old Whore (00:57)
06. Cyberstrapon (00:12)
07. Big Wet Tits (00:40)
08. Licking A Urinal In A Public Toilet (00:43)
09. Urophilic Orgasmination (01:11)
10. Pissing Prostitutes (01:25)
11. Pornofecaloma (01:20)
12. Coprourologist (01:32)
13. The Yellow Rain (00:08)
14. Rectal Explosion #1 (00:20)
15. Rectal Explosion #2 (00:24)
16. Rectal Explosion #3 (00:50)

Even if there are lyrics being sung on this EP, you will never be able to sing along with the songs because the vocals are only the sound of bubbles. The drum beats sound very bad; it’s like someone has just found a drum machine and is experimenting. Along with the silly drum patterns and house beats, a guitar with a cheap fuzzy tone is making random noise. The intro is an audio sample taking from a rape-porn movie: A guy threatening to give a woman a hard time if she doesn’t suck his dick. Then, the gorenoise begins… bubbling sounds, farts, random beats, experimental drum patterns and the jarring guitar tone. The last two tracks are pissing missing, but it’s not all that upsetting.

Movie Review: Lalit Marathe’s Shabri (2011)

Shabri is a painfully dull and shallow film that fails to engage on any level

Zakir Hussain is the only actor in Shabri whose presence can give the viewer some respite, but what he and the guy who will forever be remembered as Ghajini are doing in this painfully dull movie is something even they might not be able to answer. Lalit Marathe tries very hard to recreate the magic of RGV’s gangster flicks, but there is only one RGV, and there is zero hope for Shabri.

Neither do you feel anything for Shabri nor does her coldness intrigue you, and the other characters are limp and lifeless like the story. The premise sounds exciting, no doubt – Mumbai’s first woman gangster, but the lady ain’t no Satya (or Bhiku Mhatre, if there can be another one), and Shabri is bogged down by the shallow plot and the director shoving close-ups of the actors in your face to make you feel their… whatever they’re feeling.

The screenplay is frustrating, the dialogues have been written thoughtlessly, the acting is directionless, and the twists are laughable.

A drunk cop shoving a rod up a boy’s ass or a matka king ripping an errant subordinate’s ear off with a supari cutter won’t excite anyone in 2011. These things don’t shock anyone when they’re inserted in a movie so low on substance.

Isha Koppikar (or however she spells her name now) barks at people when she’s not expressionless. She is Shabri: an uncouth, gun-toting woman in a tattered saree – a character so ghati unappealing that even RGV might not get turned on by her. Shiney Ahuja might like her, but he’ll lose the erection when this bai lifts her saree and points the gun at him and growls, “Mai tereko boli thi!”

I feel terrible for the filmmaker because this movie should have been released and forgotten when it was made, because multiplex goers won’t want to touch Shabri, and she would’ve stood a better chance with single-screen audiences had they not been gearing up for Salman Khan’s next atrocity.

RATING: 1/5

REVIEWS: Not A Love Story | Shaitan | Paanch | Company | Satya | Rann

Beer Snobbery 4

Getting drunk all by yourself in bars will at some point lead to a stranger telling you that duplicate beer is sold all the time in this country. The much cheaper maal comes from other territories and is stocked by bars, pubs and restaurants because it means a bigger profit margin to them. Most of us may not realize it, but if your third or fourth bottle of lager tastes a bit different, chances are it’s the fake stuff. The ones who can understand this taste difference will have their query laughed off because they’ve had a few, and this is what happens all over India. I’ve had Kingfisher that tasted weird in a hotel in Jaipur, Rajasthan three years ago – I mean, it tasted weirder than Kingfisher does. This has been happening with ‘imported liquor’ for years; the branded scotch you pay big bucks for isn’t the real thing, and even the guy who owns or runs the liquor store may be unaware of it. To be on the safe side, what you can do is drink beer than cannot be duplicated. Just a few sips of Fuller’s London Pride Ale and Brooklyn Lager will tell you that some things cannot be duplicated. Cloned, yes… duplicated, no. Because if someone who wants to get rich quick could brew something of quality that high, they’d have their own brand out there. Even that fat booze baron Vijay Mallya can’t do it, and is taking over Heineken (the Kingfisher of its nation) because he is a boob.

Here’s how to not be a boob: Don’t go to the ‘official’ Mumbai Oktoberfest organized by the Indo-German Chamber of Whatever. I was there last year and it was an overblown event held to squeeze money out of people who thought they were being a part of something great by being there. On the last day of the event, people had to drink Kingfisher with the money they’d spent and learned nothing about German culture.

The Indo-German Chamber of Shit has started sending out emails to get people to make reservations for Oktoberfest 2011. They’ve stated in the email that it’s going to be 30,000 rupees (+ service tax) for a table of ten, but haven’t mentioned which German beers they’ll be pilaoing people this year. My guess is it’ll be the same beers they were trying to promote last year in the name of German culture. So, don’t be a trendy kid and fall victim to the hype, and don’t forget the official Oktoberfest is organized by the Indo-German Chamber of Commerce, which means they care about money more than anything else, and that they don’t really give a shit about beer or culture or you.

Oktoberfest 2011 you can celebrate by drinking the German Wheat Beer from Doolally – you can do this by going to the microbrewery in Pune or by visiting a pub that stocks their beers. Or you can go to Gurgaon because it has six microbreweries. Or you can buy beers of your choice from any Living Liquidz outlet in Mumbai and stay home. Just don’t settle for Kingfisher this year. Prost, ladies and gentlemen!

MORE LINKS:
The Best Beers In India
Beer Snobbery 1
Beer Snobbery 2
Beer Snobbery 3

Beer Review: Fuller’s Vintage Ale 2009

This 500 ml bottle of Fuller’s Vintage Ale is brewed in limited batches and guess who found it in aamchi Mumbai? We picked up two of these classy beauties and were blown away more by the alcohol strength than the taste. The taste is good, of course – the syrupy tartness is instantly overpowered by the obvious 8.5% hatred this beer throws at you. Too fucking strong, two of these might make you pass out on the floor. We love that our bottles are numbered. Best before 2012 they say, but we’re having them in fucking ’11, and they taste really good, and they also say ‘Limited Edition’, scoring major points with the elitist choot in me. This 2009 creamy shit is quite complex, but I’m too drunk to recognize any flavour other than the caramel malt and I have a fucking cold, so excuse me. T2 says he likes this better than the Chimays he’s had, but he’s just drunk. I’d take any Chimay over this; hell, I’d take Fuller’s premium ale any day over this.

RATING: 3.5/5

Beer Review: Erdinger Weissbier Dunkel

At last, the beer I didn’t get to drink at Oktoberfest… brought to my table at Sammy Sosa. The black liquid poured into the glass could pass off as a cola but it’s way heavier than any other beer I’ve had yet, but this could also be the result of the bottle being a half litre one. Erdinger Weissbier Dunkel smells and tastes of chocolate and toffee and is sugary as hell. I’m shocked to see a headless beer (this probably was an outdated bottle) but quite happy at how long it’s taking me to finish it.  A great blend of chocolate/toffee malts, but the thing is I don’t want a beer that tastes like fucking toffee, and unless you feel otherwise, Erdinger Weissbier Dunkel is worth a try, and maybe not a second buy.

RATING: 3/5

Beer Review: Erdinger Weissbier

After six months I came face to face with this beer again – the first time was at Oktoberfest, where I had to force three litres of this weissbier down my throat. I couldn’t remember my name after that, or how I got back home, forget how this drink tasted. Sammy Sosa serves Erdinger Weissbier in a tall Erdinger glass (fuck you, Oktoberfest) – the drink pours pretty good, the texture looks more like diluted honey and this wheat beer has a thick head that reduces to a small one in a few minutes. The smell doesn’t offer much but the taste is close to the only other hefeweizen I’ve had – banana and wheat are what I got from the taste. What I’m happiest about is getting to drink this my way and at my pace.

RATING: 3.5/5

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