Movie Review: ‘Gangs Of Wasseypur 2’ is a major disappointment

It was too good to be true. Anurag Kashyap has bitten off more than he can chew. Part One of his revenge saga is a superbly crafted film worth quite a few watches, and it deserves a hell of a follow-up that should explode in your face. Several new characters are introduced in Part Two, and each has his unique style that’s supposed to set him apart from the rest and earn him a place in your memory. Gangs of Wasseypur 2 is supposed to be a lot of things: a mind-blowing continuation of GoW 1; a movie powerful enough to stand on its own; the thunderous conclusion to a riveting tale of vengeance.

Gangs of Wassepur 2 is Anurag Kashyap losing the plot. Kashyap juggles with too many objects to impress, and all fall down. GoW 2 is a botched collage in which everyone has a bone to pick with someone. You don’t need to have a brass band performing at death ceremonies because that kind of contrast (it’s so… RGV) doesn’t impress you anymore. It’s a mockery of a very serious situation, and the same can be said about Gangs of Wasseypur 2. Even the wacky music and the attempts at humour start to feel excessive, and the less said about the tributes to the Hindi film industry, the better. Bollywood is seeping out of every pore of GoW 2. If you want to go filmy, take a break from the offbeat filmmaking and just go filmy – don’t use Bollywood to evoke laughter throughout the movie only because you’re secretly dying to be all that and are too embarrassed to do it openly.

Gangs of Wasseypur 2 is a bloody mess of a movie that doesn’t let itself be taken seriously.

RATING: 2.5/5

Movie Review: Gangs Of Wasseypur 1

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Movie Review: The Dark Knight Rises

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Christopher Nolan gives his fantastic trilogy an exhilarating end

It’s fitting, really, that a comic superhero this revered has movies made on him by a filmmaker whose vision penetrates deep into what seems impossible to think up. Christopher Nolan has taken a tired franchise (fuck you, Joel Schumacher) and recharged it for eternity. The Batman has been elevated to a place so high that it will make us laugh if anybody as much as talks about attempting to revive him in cinema after Chris Nolan’s trilogy.

The reluctant crusader with inner demons to fight must battle Bane, a monster of a man with a goal to terrorize and blow Gotham to smithereens.  Tom Hardy plays the bald beast in a mask Hannibal Lecter might like to try, and imposes with physical presence and an absurdly gruff voice. Here’s where you can forget about the Joker and understand that different villains can do things differently as long as they’re menacing enough.

The Dark Knight Rises has Bruce Wayne struggling to make his comeback as the Batman, a role Christian Bale is very familiar with. While we already know what he’s like as the billionaire with little to look forward to and the vigilante who hammers the hell out of bad guys while making sure he doesn’t kill them, it is Michael Caine and Anne Hathaway who have your attention. Caine, as the caring, witty and lovably shrewd Alfred, keeps the chuckles coming, dry as they are. Hathaway, not once called ‘Catwoman’ to her face, is slender and agile and looks irresistible in her suit.

What’s really going to stay with me is Joseph’s Gordon-Levitt’s John Blake – there’s no way you can’t love the last thing you learn about him.

Christopher Nolan succeeds once again in telling a superhero story the way it needs to be told. The Dark Knight Rises is a motivational and inspiring tale of a man as human as us you all, and teaches us that heroes are men of action; the ones who see something wrong and fix it with their hands. The Dark Knight Rises is a gratifying watch that will thrill the hell out of you, and this reviewer’s claps and whistles weren’t for the Batman as they were for Christopher Nolan as he ended his fantastic trilogy with an exhilarating ride. Now if only we could get one of those machines.

Cocktail (2012) Film Review

Sexy Bollywood Actresses 2012

Rolling Stone India Metal Awards 2012

Film Review – Supermen Of Malegaon (2012)

Ashwin Dutt’s long journey from Kinky Ski Munky to The Riot Peddlers

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KP’s Movie Recco: Road, Movie

By Karan Patel (Simple Complex Continuity)

I have seen many a road trip movie, but none like this one. Some great story telling characteristics in Road, Movie. It boasts a strong script, flawless acting (the whole cast), cinematography that serves as eye candy, witty humor and just simply feels good at the end of it all.

Road, Movie follows the story of Vishnu, who is probably in his late 20’s, frustrated with helping out with his dad’s more than boring hair-oil business, and is looking to get out in search of something fresh and new. He gets a lucky break when he gets a chance to deliver a client’s truck all the way across the desert to a “City by the Sea”.

Along the way, he meets an ensemble of eccentric wanderers, including a kid who works at the local chai ki dukkan and is also looking for a new job, an old man wandering through, looking to eventually make his bed at the “City by the Sea” and also believes that somewhere in the middle of the desert, there is going to be a huge fair with loads of festivities and finally a beautiful widow desperate in search of water.

They make their journey across the barren desert, shot incredibly well, running into corrupt cops, the water mafia and all the fun and frolic at the fair in the middle of the desert. They win their freedom from the cops by showing them a bunch of classic Bollywood and Hollywood movies, which were surprisingly found in the trunk of the truck. Humorously enough, they win their freedom and a lifetime supply of water from the water mafia  by selling them hair oil.

Road, Movie is one of the finest ‘coming of age’ movies I have seen in recent times. It’s very simple, but it spoke pretty loud to me. Satish Kaushik and Abhay Deol have always done a great job at the roles they have played. A big shout to the kid actor Mohammed Faizal Usmani and Tannishtha Chatterjee, who plays the beautiful widow. Sparked with a brilliant cinematography, this is a must-watch !

Movie Review: Don 2

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When Farhan Akhtar remade the 1978 classic Don in 2006, he was clearly under more pressure to get the viewer to accept Shahrukh Khan as Don than he was to tell a fresh story. It was more a remake in the sense that Shahrukh Khan was playing the character that had already been played to perfection almost three decades before. Shahrukh Khan was the only actor who could’ve filled Amitabh Bachchan’s shoes, and even armed with Bachchan’s lines and a whole lot of reference points and Farhan Akhtar’s guidance, he had a hard time convincing cinema buffs that he was the new Don.

In 2011, Farhan Akhtar makes it clear that he isn’t any longer trying to sell SRK as AB. He focuses on storytelling, multiplies the thrills, adds a truckload of witty lines to the thick bunch his father co-wrote for Amitabh Bachchan, and uses Shah Rukh Khan as his primary weapon.

Don surrenders to the police because his enemies are out to kill him; Don escapes from prison with Vardaan (Boman Irani), who was in jail because of him; Don plans and executes a bank heist; Don, in the end, defeats his enemies, and walks away after striking a deal with the cops, and he has what he wants. In short, Don hoodwinks everyone because he’s Don. Anyone can predict that Don will emerge as the one and only winner, but what nobody will expect is Farhan Akhtar to blow your mind. Akthar uses a tight script, a fantastic car-chase sequence, and Lara Dutta, among other things… but these are only to help the story move forward.

Farhan Akhtar blows your mind with Shahrukh Khan, who, in turn, returns to power, acts like none of the other superstars can and probably ever will. His Don does go over the top, and unlike Amitabh Bachchan’s Don, expects and waits for a reaction after delivering his lines, but still, he’s a lot more fun to watch than the others. Aamir Khan will scratch his head for exactly 11 minutes and 57 seconds and will never say anything negative about SRK again. Salman Khan will get drunk and use foul language and his sycophants will say things like “Bhai is upset” and “Bhai is not keeping well” to the press. Abhishek Bachchan, if he hasn’t already, will now realize he is not the heir to his father’s throne. Akshay Kumar will evaporate.

Shah Rukh Khan opens the floodgates of his charm, and the viewer will be eating out of his hands from the first minute of Don 2, wishing it would never end. Shahrukh Khan has the laugh of a movie megastar. The laugh that tells you, when Don is under threat and in great danger or flirting with the hot chick (the ultra-sexy Priyanka Chopra – I love her) who is having the toughest time of her cute life fighting off Don’s advances, that everything is under control. Under Don’s control. Amitabh Bachchan had that laugh, even though I don’t remember him laughing in Don. And SRK has it. They don’t have the same style of laughing, but now there are two styles of laughing Don will be associated with. Maybe it’s because they both just have their own unique styles of laughing? I’m confusing myself here, so excuse me. Shah Rukh, even while hamming occasionally, looks a lot more at ease being Don now, in Don 2.

Priyanka Chopra is the sexiest woman in Bollywood, and she looks even sexier when she acts. There are others in Don 2 too, but you don’t want to know about anyone except SRK and PC, right? Right. But I’ll tell you anyway: Om Puri has become a joke, and Boman Irani gets a better shot at acting than he does in the Munnabhai series.

Don 2 is fucking slick – it’s like watching a Hollywood action-thriller. Farhan Akhtar leaves no loopholes, and makes the story rather believable. If only it hadn’t been stretched all that much to make Don seem like even more of a daredevil (he returns to the bank after executing the heist successfully and vanishing from the scene), Don 2 would have been a compact blockbuster worth watching several times. One more thing I have to credit Don with: he has impeccable taste. We both are extremely fond of wild cats.

RATING: 4/5

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Movie Review: Lalit Marathe’s Shabri (2011)

Shabri is a painfully dull and shallow film that fails to engage on any level

Zakir Hussain is the only actor in Shabri whose presence can give the viewer some respite, but what he and the guy who will forever be remembered as Ghajini are doing in this painfully dull movie is something even they might not be able to answer. Lalit Marathe tries very hard to recreate the magic of RGV’s gangster flicks, but there is only one RGV, and there is zero hope for Shabri.

Neither do you feel anything for Shabri nor does her coldness intrigue you, and the other characters are limp and lifeless like the story. The premise sounds exciting, no doubt – Mumbai’s first woman gangster, but the lady ain’t no Satya (or Bhiku Mhatre, if there can be another one), and Shabri is bogged down by the shallow plot and the director shoving close-ups of the actors in your face to make you feel their… whatever they’re feeling.

The screenplay is frustrating, the dialogues have been written thoughtlessly, the acting is directionless, and the twists are laughable.

A drunk cop shoving a rod up a boy’s ass or a matka king ripping an errant subordinate’s ear off with a supari cutter won’t excite anyone in 2011. These things don’t shock anyone when they’re inserted in a movie so low on substance.

Isha Koppikar (or however she spells her name now) barks at people when she’s not expressionless. She is Shabri: an uncouth, gun-toting woman in a tattered saree – a character so ghati unappealing that even RGV might not get turned on by her. Shiney Ahuja might like her, but he’ll lose the erection when this bai lifts her saree and points the gun at him and growls, “Mai tereko boli thi!”

I feel terrible for the filmmaker because this movie should have been released and forgotten when it was made, because multiplex goers won’t want to touch Shabri, and she would’ve stood a better chance with single-screen audiences had they not been gearing up for Salman Khan’s next atrocity.

RATING: 1/5

REVIEWS: Not A Love Story | Shaitan | Paanch | Company | Satya | Rann

Movie Review: Not A Love Story

It’s in the second half of Not A Love Story that Ram Gopal Varma displays his brand of intensity, speeding things up after a man has been killed by his previous night’s fuck’s boyfriend. Based on the Neeraj Grover murder case, the film is RGV’s interpretation of how it happened and was shot in the building Maria Susairaj lived in, where the murder happened.

Between shots of the voluptuous Mahie Gill and a grimacing Deepak Dobriyal, RGV does manage to tell you a story. But it can get too much – it would be an understatement to say Not A Love Story has skin show, because a flesh parade is what it is. Mahie Gill has been shot from every possible angle, and even when she’s panicking about something, you expect to see a flash of her vagina, and there is a scene that has her wiping blood off the floor and a boob nearly pops out. It’s excessive, yes, and it’s Ram Gopal Varma indulging himself again, directing his heroine to shake her booty to a song from one of his superhit films. Rangeela’s title track also doubles up as Mahie’s ringtone, and it does grate the nerves after a point.

Had I known nothing about the Neeraj Grover murder case, I would have greatly enjoyed this movie, because Not A Love Story is how Ram Gopal Varma imagines it took place. My biggest problem is with the personalities of the people involved (pardon the pun), for Deepak Dobriyal plays the possessive, always-simmering boyfriend with the permanent scowl – it’s hard to perceive Emile Jerome Mathew that way, but this is a Ram Gopal Varma film, where at least one man needs to be grouchy all of the time. Ajay Gehi’s Ashish is an affable chap, whereas Neeraj Grover came across as a sneaky guy who fucked a woman after promising her a movie role and the unlucky soul who got stabbed to death by her boyfriend the morning after. Mahie Gill, to Maria Susairaj’s advantage, is made to look like less of a whore-bag, even if she lied to her boyfriend that she had been raped by the man who was walking around naked in her home.

Still, big points to the filmmaker for the stunning camerawork; all the toying around with the camera he did in his last many films seems to have paid off, even if all the camera does for a good part of the first hour is follow a full-bodied Mahie Gill around.

After Neeraj Grover has been chopped into pieces and burned and, after the interval, is reported missing, Zakir Hussain steps in as the cop investigating the matter, and that is when RGV shows his true form. What follows is pure intensity you wish would never end. When Ram Gopal Varma is fully in control, he can paralyze you and leave you breathless and make sure everyone in the movie hall walks out satisfied, and the kind of tension this man can still create… it has to be seen to be believed.

Ram Gopal Varma irons out most of the flaws that plagued several of his films, but some new quirks spring up in their place. Not A Love Story is by no means an easy tale to tell, and at times it may seem that this director isn’t the best man for the task, but there isn’t anybody who can do it better. The good news is the man still knows how to lock you in a death grip. Welcome back, RGV.

RATING: 2.5/5

READ REVIEWS OF RAM GOPAL VARMA’S OTHER MOVIES:

Rann Review

Satya Review

Company Review

Saurin Parikh, On Why RGV Is Losing The Rann

Rakta Charitra Should’ve Been Called Fucked Vichitra

Movie Review: Bbuddah Hoga Terra Baap

The film is an unabashed tribute to the most alpha man in the history of cinema

A politician arrives at the scene of a bomb blast, making the mastermind watching it all on a news channel comment that it’s only such events that politicians show up for. He instructs the man who has just carried out the blast to make the second bomb go off, and turns to a member of his gang and asks the guy if he has ever watched a live telecast of a bomb blast. After the second explosion, he turns back to the man and says, “Ab koi nahi aayega.”

Silliness is the name of the game, and even though this movie guises itself as a serious film, it has jokes in every other frame. Not the Dabanng kind of inanity, not even the impossible, unbelievable stuff that makes idiots build temples in Rajnikant’s name. Bbuddah Hoga Terra Baap will have the masses and the classes chuckling because of the the references (there can never be enough) to Amitabh Bachchan’s movies and the general goofiness of all the characters in every situation of this film.

Amitabh Bachchan (the greatest actor in the world) plays a retired gangster who has left his pub in Paris to kick some ass in Mumbai. He charms young girls and older women with ease, rides a macho bike, wears shades while aiming at the unfortunate with a sniper.

Do you really want to know the story? Do you really care? This is the most loved Indian of all time – respected, adored, worshipped for every single thing he did and does. There is nobody in the universe who can walk, talk, stand, punch with a left hand, fire a gun, kick an erring motherfucker, make women fall in love and swoon, make men’s jaws drop in awe, grab someone by the collar, get angry, be apologetic, cry, laugh, smile, run, shout, dance, grit his teeth, smoke, get drunk, be funny, love, hate, live and die the way this man can. Nobody can even come close. How all the charisma in the world is crammed in one man is a great mystery to me.

The other actors are very good; they do what they’re supposed to do. Everybody is fucking funny and will crack you up at one point or another. Raveena Tandon looks like a zillion bucks and Sonal Chauhan has overthrown Priyanka Chopra and has taken her place in my life. Yeah, I am no longer in love with Priyanka Chopra. So long, Piggy Chops.

Back to the main stuff – Bbuddah Hoga Terra Baap is silly, but in a sweet, cute way. It is Puri Jagannadh’s unabashed tribute to the most alpha man in the history of cinema. The man who every man, woman and child can relate to. This is the man enjoying himself in a movie about everything he stands (tall) for because he still has the chops (of course) and because nobody else will ever be able to play him. How he transcended genres and went on to rule Hindi cinema is what will make other actors realize how important a role destiny plays – how one man can have everything while others…

Bbuddah Hoga Terra Baap is not meant to be taken very seriously. It’s for those who have grown up watching Amitabh Bachchan’s movies to sit back and laugh at the baap having some fun.

RATING: 2.5/5

Rishte mein toh hum tumhare baap lagte hain…

Golden Mango Awards – The Best Of 2010

ALBUM OF THE YEAR

Belus

There was never any doubt that Count Grishnackh’s glorious return would steal the thunder (and the lightning) from the lesser musicians of this world, but I decided to wait till now anyway, just to give everybody a fair shot. As we sat back in our chairs with one eye closed, wondering if the new music would live up to Burzum’s legacy or even be decent black metal, Varg Vikernes forced the stars and the planets into alignment with Kaimadalthas’ Nedstigning, and illuminated the universe with Keliohesten, making countless galaxies sway to the ambience he conjured with the intoxicating Belus’ Tilbakekomst, far surpassing everything he’d created before. Whether he makes another album or not doesn’t matter; “Belus” is proof that the man who made it is the greatest black metal musician of all time.

ANTHEM OF THE YEAR

Sau Rupiya

So we always knew that Ashwin-drummer-would-have-his-revenge-on-the-Bombay-rock-scene, but who’d have thought he’d do it this way? A song that begins with the chorus, has cheeky squeals and a glass breaking before The Riot Peddlers launch into a slamming attack on an already petrified world, “Sau Rupiya” is easily the catchiest, the most fun, and the most lovable  song I’ve heard all year. And with the incorrigible Rishu Singh taking charge as manager, and frontman Arun S Ravi threatening to unleash an entire collection of such songs – yes, I was just getting to that – hide your moms. The band to watch out for in 2011.

FILM OF THE YEAR

Antardwand

Yes, there actually was one film worth watching in 2010. While the corporate superstars of the Hindi film industry were conning some of us into watching “socially relevant” films, there was a movie that came along without making announcements and hit me between the eyes. The story of a man being abducted and being forced to become a bridegroom in rural India –  it’s not a slapstick comedy, stop laughing – with no song-and-dance, no big names, yet complete with good screenplay and terrific performances from everyone, “Antardwand” is one of the two or three movies that were worth checking out this year.

BEER OF THE YEAR

Fuller’s London Pride and Murphy’s Irish Stout

Of all the brew available at Living Liquidz, I’m picking two drinks as the best beers I’ve had this year, because they’re both excellent, and they’re both very different from each other, and I just can’t have enough of either. Be sure to pick up a crate of Fuller’s London Pride for a session or to have with something roasted, and Murphy’s Irish Stout when you feel like sitting back with a fucking cigar. These drinks are on the expensive side, but trust me when I say they’re absolutely worth it. And just try having a Kingfisher after downing a few of these.

WOMAN OF THE YEAR

Priyanka Chopra

She’s smoking hot, and I fucking love her.

Priyanka Chopra is an actress who keeps breaking out of her comfort zone every now and then, doesn’t act in inane comedies, has a great face and a terrific bod, doesn’t talk about her private life, is not a fake vegetarian, doesn’t look like Randhir Kapoor, can be described as sweet, sexy, hot, cute, pretty, gorgeous, seems totally unaffected by the box-office outcome of her films, and she has an ass like that.

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RESTAURANT OF THE YEAR

Urban Tadka

One of my all-time favourite restaurants – Urban Tadka is the place I run to when I’m not sure where to go. The rustic setting, the homely vibe, the amazing food, the perfect service – Urban Tadka is the restaurant that I’ve frequented the most over the last three years and not once have I been disappointed in the slightest. Far from it, Urban Tadka always manages to surprise me, and is the best place for meals with friends, lunch dates, dinners with the family, and hell, I even go there all by myself just because I love being there so much. I love it so much that I’m going to write a review for it next year after a few more visits to it. In the meantime, every other dhaba-like restaurant can pack up and take my leave, thank you!

MAN OF THE YEAR

Varg Vikernes

The prince returned after more than a decade in jail to claim what was rightfully his – the throne. Count Grishnackh has proved that the purest music can come only from the purest mind, with Belus being not only the most dazzling album from his discography, but also one of the most brilliant black metal albums of all time, not to mention the greatest comeback ever. The prince of black metal is now the king of black metal, enthroned for eternity, irrespective of whether he chooses to make another album or not. Paying no attention to all the pressure on him to make some music worthy of being placed next to his Burzum classics, Varg Vikernes quietly pushed forward the most epic comeback album ever. As for 2010 being the Year Of The Tiger – may the creator of the Chinese horoscope be trapped inside a burning church – 2010 is the Year Of The Wolf. JAI SHRI GRISHNACKH!!!

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Review: Atithi Tum Kab Jaoge?

Let’s get one thing out of the way: if you’re going to compare this to a Hrishikesh Mukherjee or Basu Chatterjee film make sure you’ve seen a Hrishikesh Mukherjee or Basu Chatterjee film. Next thing I know you’ll be saying Sanjay Gupta is in the league of Satyajit Ray.

From writer/director Ashvini Dhir comes Atithi Tum Kab Jaoge?, a film pretentious for most part. In exaggerated versions of characters they’re supposed to be playing, Paresh Rawal, Ajay Devgn and Konkona Sen somehow manage to keep the film lightly engaging. Perhaps only because they’re all established actors. Paresh Rawal is Ajay Devgn’s relative who shows up one fine day and makes a mess of things, much to Ajay and Konkona’s chagrin. Slaps the watchman, makes Konkona cook, harasses the maid and is an overbearing lout in general.

Trying too hard and falling flat in the first half, Atithi Tum Kab Jaoge? doesn’t evoke much laughter except during the first song, which is a religious tune sung in the manner of Beedi from Omkara. And the not-that-funny scene in which Paresh Rawal (Lambodhar Chacha) accompanies Devgn (Puneet, a writer) to the muhurat of a film where he meets Sholay’s Kalia (Viju Khote) and wrecks Satish Kaushik’s Rs 50 lakh film set. That is the last scene before the interval, and that is when Ashvini Dhir’s Atithi Tum Kab Jaoge? attempts to redeem itself.

While the script doesn’t improve too much throughout the course of the movie, the actors start getting into their respective characters from the second half onwards. And the story takes its predictable turns. Chachaji winning everyone over, warming hearts all around, but the damage has been done. Paresh Rawal’s nonstop farting gets to you after a point, as does his burping, but I’ve never found such gags funny anyway. The religious angle is the worst, as is the half-baked stampede scare. Most of the dialogues are stale, but it hardly matters when you’ve lost interest in the film.

Chachaji is a nice guy but he could’ve been shown better. Atithi Tum Kab Jaoge? is a wrong move for Konkona Sen, and Ajay Devgn, though earnest, doesn’t seem too bothered by the way the movie shapes up. Neither the presence of good actors nor the two references to Amitabh Bachchan’s greatness do anything to save Ashvini Dhir’s film. Movies cease to be fun when they start getting preachy.

Atithi Tum Kab Jaoge? is a complete letdown despite having three bankable actors on board. Turn this guest away.

RATING: 1.5/5

(This review has also been published on Book My Show)

Review: Road, Movie (2010)

By Saurin Parikh

Director: “Dev Benegal”

Actor: “Abhay Deol”

Towards the end of Road, Movie, there is a dialogue that goes something like: “Apni apni zindagi hain, apni apni kismat hain.” It was my kismat that made me go for Road, Movie and it is now my duty to make sure you don’t suffer the way I did.

Without exaggerating even a tad, I can say with utmost conviction that the best thing about Road, Movie is its end. The second, and final, good thing is the cinematography. That’s it; the movie has nothing else to write about. It’s been a half hour since I slugged my way out of the theatre and I’m still numb, and not even comfortably. A big bore, a huge yawn is what Road, Movie is.

Dev Benegal came out of a few years of exile to make this movie; I hope he goes into a lifelong exile now. Nothing at all about the movie can be explained or deciphered. There is no story to speak of, no characters to like or dislike, no direction to applaud, no performances to rave about…. nothing. In fact, the movie is so dumb that it has a Rajasthani banjaran acting more sluttish than an Amsterdam whore, with a fuck and forget fetish that would put the latter to shame. Not one aspect about the story is believable. I can rant off a million questions out here but I don’t care, and I don’t think you should either.

My humble and heartfelt suggestion would be to skip this movie. Don’t go for it now, don’t watch it on DVD and change the channel when it comes on TV.