Beer Snobbery 3

Every few years, there is a disturbing change of beer trends in magical Goa. There was the local pilsner King’s, which ruled the scene. Then, Kingfisher took over and reigned until recently and now Tuborg has dethroned India’s most popular beer. They’re a lot cheaper at the beach shacks than they are at the liquor stores (“wine shops”) in Mumbai, but the next time we’re in Goa… I’ll be sippin’ water, thank you.

Speaking of ‘popular’, I think there’s a connection between Kingfisher and other popular stuff. Like god, for example. Or take any popular notion that doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. While it’s totally understandable that not everyone can admit they were wrong or fooled after a lifetime of believing in something, it’s baffling how people will belligerently continue to thrust forth their contrasting opinion in a show of loyalty to that which is obviously false.

It’s like trying to start a conversation with me by stating that a certain band whose only claim to fame is playing covers of Metallica/Megadeth/Slayer is the best thing to happen to metal. It never works.

Fuck all that – I laughed my head off talking to this delivery man who happens to be a London Pilsner loyalist. He told me how he’d bought the costlier Kingfisher thinking it’d be his birthday treat and that it ruined his celebration because, as he told me in Hindi, that beer fucking stinks.

It feels so good to be on a break from alcohol, especially after a visit to a microbrewery which poured into my life a truly great beer that… yeah, that’s right – no more shitty beer posts from me for a very long time. So if you’re too lazy to visit a microbrewery or too cheap to buy quality brew, the least you can do as someone who cares about what they put in their body is drink the only good Indian macrobrew around. And be sure to pester the wine shop owner for the the classic green bottle.

I wonder if anyone has broken it to Vijay Mallya yet…

 

Beer Snobbery 2

The next best thing about learning to appreciate good beer is that one is forced to cut down on drinking; it’s next to impossible to even consider settling for Foster’s or Carlsberg. The lack of great brews from our country is felt only when one sees beyond the Kingfisher bottle. Of course, the rest of the world is equally guilty of making bad beer, and some of it is terrible and undrinkable. But our nation has only one beer worth drinking – in a market full of lagers, the drink that stands apart is the delightful London Pilsner. The joke here is that even Vijay Mallya doesn’t know how good LP is, which is why it is a lot cheaper than United Breweries’ flagship beer Kingfisher Premium.

So many people have been complaining about how expensive alcohol has become. Not that it was inexpensive before, but the prices have shot up like crazy and everybody is feeling the pinch this time. With the prices rising this way and ours being a drinking nation, you’d think we’d have some ales or stouts, but there isn’t even a decent lager around.

One of these days I might be able to stop kicking myself for drinking Kingfisher Mild all these years; it’s been what, 14-15 years since I started drinking? And in between bottles of London Pilsner Mild and pitchers of Kingfisher Draught (from the tap, not the canned stuff), I’ll pay through my nose for imported beer – thrice the price for half as much.

The good news is, when the truly worthy beers become available at all the wine shops, their prices will go down, and liquor stores like Living Liquidz and Juben Wines that stock the fancy stuff will get even more fancy beers from outside India. No idea how fatboy slim Mallya will handle real beers going mainstream but let him lose a few kilos over it.

Kathakali At Thekkady

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