Posts Tagged ‘burzum
No, don’t be upset, it’s just six months!
Fuck knows who takes Varg Vikernes’ racist bullshit seriously, except his own silly ‘race’ that can’t stop applauding its own ‘superiority’. As a Burzum fan, I say the old chap deserves those six months in prison just for making The Ways Of Yore. A fucking moron on LSD could make a better album hitting random notes, and I don’t know shit about European folklore/mythology or how to play a keyboard. It isn’t very nice to incite hate against Jews even if they’re Gujjus, and for what he said about Muslims and Islam, a fatwa would be apposite, as surprise beheadings are losing their
Yes, just sit back and compose Belus II.
charm faster than Mumbai metal bands desperately playing every gig they can bag. Back to my point – jail has done Count Grishnackh a lot of good – I’m one of those who think understand Belus is Burzum at its peak, and that Kristian ‘Varg’ Vikernes perfected Black Metal with that album. Fallen deserves countless flying kisses too, and that’s why I’m saying the wolf needs to be caged. Get angry, Varg, be very angry and let the hatred build up. Toss that keyboard out or just put the cover back on it for a little while… some of us from the “inferior races” are thirsting for new sounds of purity.
Take it from a fanboy: Burzum‘s new album fucking sucks. Those four listens gave me a headache that still hasn’t left and the only nice thing to say about The Ways Of Yore is that it might be slightly less torturous than the Bollywood movie Humshakals. The difference between the two is easily guessable: the Hindi film will jar your senses and this ambient piece of shit will 
numb them, but not in a good way like alcohol does. Earlier this year Varg Vikernes was reading reviews of his music on the internet but was distracted and flattered by all those memes floating around and that put him in a happy mood. He sent the guitar flying out of the window and it landed on a cop who’d come to question Varg about his only interesting blog post, How to Make a Laxmi Bomb. Looking out of the window as if he could see the fucking future, the old boy realized rabbits are super cute and aren’t meant to be eaten, and brought out a dusty keyboard to compose an album that would end Anu Malik’s glittering career, and by god, he did it. With tunes lamer than AR Rahman’s AirTel ad and awful singing that would make Odin cancel his return, the bored bard did it. On the right is Shakti Kapoor at the album launch party, decked up for the occasion.
RATING: 1/5
Those who’ve been complaining about the dearth of screams on Belus will perhaps be satisfied with Fallen. Varg Vikernes is not only screaming here; if his clean singing on Belus came as a surprise, the humming on Fallen may prove too shocking for some.
Compared to Belus (everything in black metal shall henceforth be compared to Belus), Fallen sounds far less intense and closer to early Burzum. The guitar tone is thinner and raw, and the drumming, for a change, isn’t minimal. The songs aren’t as woven into themselves as they are on Belus, and they aren’t trance-inducing either. Fallen is for those who liked/loved Burzum‘s early work, mainly because it has that kind of rawness and the typically chunky riffs and the excited black metal drumming.
But really, the humming makes Varg sound like a guy in love smelling a colourful flower thinking about his girl. Maybe Count Grishnackh composed it while taking a merry stroll in his favourite forest. Your first reaction to it may be ‘what-the-fuck-is-he-doing’, but later when you’re in the loo, that tune comes back to haunt you and doesn’t allow you to shit properly.
Before I turn into an asshole and tell you how the whole damned world can learn from Burzum about honour and integrity, let me play safe by merely stating that this man can single-handedly slap you all with several lessons in black metal aesthetics while having a lot of fun making albums like Fallen.
There will always be poseur bands making music for poseurs, and there will always be great bands creating true black metal art. And then there will always be one man who, by the very nature of his existence, keeps the fire burning.
ALBUM OF THE YEAR
Belus
There was never any doubt that Count Grishnackh’s glorious return would steal the thunder (and the lightning) from the lesser musicians of this world, but I decided to wait till now anyway, just to give everybody a fair shot. As we sat back in our chairs with one eye closed, wondering if the new music would live up to Burzum’s legacy or even be decent black metal, Varg Vikernes forced the stars and the planets into alignment with Kaimadalthas’ Nedstigning, and illuminated the universe with Keliohesten, making countless galaxies sway to the ambience he conjured with the intoxicating Belus’ Tilbakekomst, far surpassing everything he’d created before. Whether he makes another album or not doesn’t matter; “Belus” is proof that the man who made it is the greatest black metal musician of all time.
ANTHEM OF THE YEAR
Sau Rupiya
So we always knew that Ashwin-drummer-would-have-his-revenge-on-the-Bombay-rock-scene, but who’d have thought he’d do it this way? A song that begins with the chorus, has cheeky squeals and a glass breaking before The Riot Peddlers launch into a slamming attack on an already petrified world, “Sau Rupiya” is easily the catchiest, the most fun, and the most lovable song I’ve heard all year. And with the incorrigible Rishu Singh taking charge as manager, and frontman Arun S Ravi threatening to unleash an entire collection of such songs – yes, I was just getting to that – hide your moms. The band to watch out for in 2011.
FILM OF THE YEAR
Antardwand
Yes, there actually was one film worth watching in 2010. While the corporate superstars of the Hindi film industry were conning some of us into watching “socially relevant” films, there was a movie that came along without making announcements and hit me between the eyes. The story of a man being abducted and being forced to become a bridegroom in rural India – it’s not a slapstick comedy, stop laughing – with no song-and-dance, no big names, yet complete with good screenplay and terrific performances from everyone, “Antardwand” is one of the two or three movies that were worth checking out this year.
BEER OF THE YEAR
Fuller’s London Pride and Murphy’s Irish Stout
Of all the brew available at Living Liquidz, I’m picking two drinks as the best beers I’ve had this year, because they’re both excellent, and they’re both very different from each other, and I just can’t have enough of either. Be sure to pick up a crate of Fuller’s London Pride for a session or to have with something roasted, and Murphy’s Irish Stout when you feel like sitting back with a fucking cigar. These drinks are on the expensive side, but trust me when I say they’re absolutely worth it. And just try having a Kingfisher after downing a few of these.
WOMAN OF THE YEAR
Priyanka Chopra
She’s smoking hot, and I fucking love her.
Priyanka Chopra is an actress who keeps breaking out of her comfort zone every now and then, doesn’t act in inane comedies, has a great face and a terrific bod, doesn’t talk about her private life, is not a fake vegetarian, doesn’t look like Randhir Kapoor, can be described as sweet, sexy, hot, cute, pretty, gorgeous, seems totally unaffected by the box-office outcome of her films, and she has an ass like that.
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RESTAURANT OF THE YEAR
Urban Tadka
One of my all-time favourite restaurants – Urban Tadka is the place I run to when I’m not sure where to go. The rustic setting, the homely vibe, the amazing food, the perfect service – Urban Tadka is the restaurant that I’ve frequented the most over the last three years and not once have I been disappointed in the slightest. Far from it, Urban Tadka always manages to surprise me, and is the best place for meals with friends, lunch dates, dinners with the family, and hell, I even go there all by myself just because I love being there so much. I love it so much that I’m going to write a review for it next year after a few more visits to it. In the meantime, every other dhaba-like restaurant can pack up and take my leave, thank you!
MAN OF THE YEAR
Varg Vikernes
The prince returned after more than a decade in jail to claim what was rightfully his – the throne. Count Grishnackh has proved that the purest music can come only from the purest mind, with Belus being not only the most dazzling album from his discography, but also one of the most brilliant black metal albums of all time, not to mention the greatest comeback ever. The prince of black metal is now the king of black metal, enthroned for eternity, irrespective of whether he chooses to make another album or not. Paying no attention to all the pressure on him to make some music worthy of being placed next to his Burzum classics, Varg Vikernes quietly pushed forward the most epic comeback album ever. As for 2010 being the Year Of The Tiger – may the creator of the Chinese horoscope be trapped inside a burning church – 2010 is the Year Of The Wolf. JAI SHRI GRISHNACKH!!!
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25
Feb
10
Review: Belus
Year: “2010”
Artist: “Burzum”
Album: “Belus”
Genre: “Black Metal”
CREATOR
Black Metal has known no finer exponent than Burzum, no character more intriguing than Count Grishnackh. The composer of fine albums like Aske, Hvis Lyset Tar Oss, Filosofem and Hliðskjálf among others, Count Grishnackh’s odd behaviour fascinated me as much as his music. Burzum being a one-man project added greatly to his mystique, and all these factors led to Burzum becoming my all-time favourite Black Metal band.
DESTROYER
Sentenced to 21 years in prison for arson and the murder of Øystein Aarseth, Count Grishnackh’s racist ideologies got tremendous exposure thanks to the media which was and is as taken by the man as many of us are. As much as I love architecture, I have to say the thought of churches burning is exciting as hell. As much as I love Mayhem, I have to say Euronymous was replaceable (he was replaced, wasn’t he?) and Varg Vikernes is not. One of them had to die; better Euronymous than Grishnackh.
PRESERVER
Coming to the album at last, Belus is everything you expect and want the new Burzum record to be. Belus is very powerful music, a superb album from Burzum. The old bard picks up from where he left off, his sound and signature firmly in place, his trademark drumming and riffing keeping the pace steady and interesting throughout. Those who share my views on “pure music” will be satiated with what Count Grishnackh has done on Belus, meaning “The White God”. The essence of Burzum’s music is ever-present on Belus, and the purity of his sound intact. The man is feared, the band is here, the vision is clear. Black Metal has a white god – we know him as Varg.
Mehta Kya Kehta? 