Text by Prayag Arora-Desai | Photographs by Prashin Jagger
1st June; 7:00 pm; dry day notwithstanding, I get to Blue Frog with 300 bucks worth of booze in my belly because this is exactly the kind of thing that you need to be drunk for. I haven’t attended a metal gig since Nh7 Weekender, because anymore, I do not like attending metal gigs. Or bumping into annoying old friends whose tastes never grew beyond the filthy ranks of Dimmu Borgir and Children of Bodom. The show doesn’t begin for another hour at least, but already I see swarms of black tee-shirts running around the place as if it were fucking Disneyland. There are plenty of new faces I cannot recognize, jabbering about how awesome Zygnema is, wondering what the fuck this Pangea is all about and smoking shitty ass fucking weed. Metalheads can be an annoying bunch. Worse, the line up today is terrible; Abraxas make horrible music, I don’t get the hype behind Eccentric Pendulum and Providence should go back to covering Hatebreed. Welcome to Rolling Stone Metal Awards, 2012, where Rohit Pereira will give you a Diesel watch if you scream ROLLLIIIIINNGGG STOOOOONNEEE very loudly into his mic.
What a crock of shit.
I’ve been attending this painful celebration of Indian metal mediocrity for three years running. I’m not proud of it, I have my excuses. The first time, I was still a dumb virgin who wanted to show off his awesome new beard to everyone. That was actually a fun gig, courtesy Scribe. The second time, my internship with Hindustan Times had me covering it. And I yielded again, yesterday, because Mehta said “I will sponsor your booze if you review it for MKK.” All editors should be like him.
This is not one of those This-award-went-to-this-band features. I don’t remember who picked up which award. I do not care. I don’t know if I’m getting old and stubborn, or if the scene is in a fucking mess. The good bands; Scribe, Bhayanak Maut, Exhumation, they’re hardly gigging. And the bands who shouldn’t be allowed to gig are playing every other weekend. There’s not much that can be said about the quality of Indian metal, especially if Rolling Stone Metal Awards is anything to go by. Providence were noisy, Abraxas were noisier (cut down on those long-ass guitar solos, boys), Eccentric Pendulum – short of one guitarist – also fell short of being impressive, even if they were a slight step up from the rest. Zygnema are just… Zygnema. Fuck the poor quality of Indian metal, there’s worse things to be said about the average Indian metalhead’s taste in music, what with this band still being allowed to play.
I’m going to break it to ya’ll very simply: We do not have enough decent metal bands in this country to warrant an entire award ceremony dedicated to the scene. Rolling Stone claims they’re supporting Indian metal. I think there’s a lot of money being blown up so sponsors can try selling me shit that I don’t need. RSMA may have been exciting the first time, but now it’s a self-indulgent marketing gimmick I no longer care for.
Peace.
MUSIC REVIEWS: Skyharbor | Goddess Gagged | Providence
GIG REVIEWS: Metal Bajaao Special Edition | Deathfest 2 at B69 | Metallica in Bangalore
EVENT REVIEWS: RSMA 1 | RSMA 2 | Mumbai Oktoberfest | International Beer Festival | Koli Seafood Festival
Mehta Kya Kehta? 